Sunday Family Humour 8th April
There
was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested
in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to
make it go a wee bit further.
As
it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the
Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one
of their biggest buildings.
Smokey put in a bid and, because his price was so low, he got the job.
So
he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and
buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with
water...
Well,
Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly
completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky
opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all
over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on
the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the
thinned and useless paint.
Smokey was no fool.
He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty,
So he got down on his knees and cried:
"Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...
(You’re going to love this)
"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
Close in with Gorillas
Thanks to Paul S.Historical Photos
Thanks to Ray O'.Imagine you are the photographer.
Try to feel the vibes at the time of the picture.
Most pictures are USA about 100 years ago,
but they evoke memories of all cultures from one hundred years ago or more recent.
Moral Test
Thanks to Bill S.Moral Test....Read to the end before making a judgment...Cheers
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which
you will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
*** THE SITUATION: ***
You are in London. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane
with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions.
You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're
caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly
hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and
people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water. Nature is
unleashing all of its destructive fury.
*** THE TEST: ***
Suddenly, you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life,
trying not to be taken down with the debris
You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar....
You suddenly realize who it is.... It's the Muslim Cleric, Abu Hamza,
the one-eyed, hook handed bastard who hates non-Muslims and wants the
UK to become an Islamic state!!
You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.
You have two options:
You can save the life of Abu or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize
winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most
despised, evil and powerful men!
*** NOW THE QUESTION AND PLEASE GIVE AN HONEST ANSWER ***
Would you select high contrast colour film or, would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?
Road Rage
Thanks to David M.African elephant, as opposed to Thai elephants!
These photos was taken in Pilanesberg game reserve, South Africa.
The guy in the Volkswagen was trying to get past the elephant
in typical VW arrogance and he got his comeuppance.
Why Teachers Drink
Thanks to Captain Bob |  | |
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An Eagle, a Fox and a Cat in Harmony
Thanks to ATS
Retarded Grandparents
Thanks to Ray M.
After Christmas, a teacher asked her
young pupils to write an essay on how they spent their holiday
away from
school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays
with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house
but Grandpa
got retarded and they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives
in nice little
houses, and so they don't have to mow the grass any more!
They ride around on their bicycles and
scooters and wear name tags because they don't know who they are
any more. They
go to a building called a wreck centre, but they must have got
it fixed because
it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don't do
them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they
all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house
with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so
nobody can escape.
Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts!
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.
And, they eat the same thing every night - early birds. Some of
the people
can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do
get out, bring
food back to the wrecked centre for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all
his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I
can be
retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be
the man in the
doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their
grandchildren.Previous issues of Sunday Family Humour are available as follows:
| 2009 | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec | March | April | ||
| 2010 | Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec | 11 | 1 |
| 2011 | Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec | 18 | 8 |
| 2012 | Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | 25 | 15 |
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